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The Kid’s Nocturnal Craziness. A Very Short Story

P1130166 The kid’s been having trouble sleeping all week. I don’t know if it’s the moon or the fact that he’s been going through some changes in kindergarten, but he’s been unbelievably annoying every single afternoon and half awake during the night. It’s not nice to say that of your own kid. Other people’s kids are annoying, mine is picture perfect most of the time. 😉 But he has his moments and this weeks the moments have stretched into age. You know, like the weather turns into climate.

Speaking of which – perhaps it is the weather. We’ve been having inordinate amount of rain this summer (what, summer, what is that?) which precludes us for going out as much as we could and would have if there was sun. Well, there is sun. Somewhere. Behind all those clouds. Somewhere else. So the kid gets bored and nags for constant attention.

Anyway, the kid and I were alone last night, and I put him to bed at 8 pm and went out of the room, rubbing my hands gleefully, yaaay, some mummy time. What to do with all this free time? One attack at the fridge and remote control later, I hear from the bedroom: “Mummy! Mummy! Mummmyyyyy!”

I shout from the couch: “Lie down and go to sleep.”

Quiet again. Oh, joy. Let’s see what films have I got on my USB.

“Muuummmyyy. Dink. Mummy. Mummyyy. Dink. Dink.”

Dink is drink. Ok, so he’s thirsty. I take him a glass of water, he drinks and lies down.

Ok, here we go. Only Lovers Left Alive, this should be good. Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston. Oh, goodie!

“Mummy. Mummy.”

I ignore him. He sometimes whines, but if I leave him alone, it only takes a couple of minutes for him to stop and go to sleep. Well, not today.

“Mummmmmmyyyy. Dummy.”

He lost his dummy. Oh noes. He won’t sleep without it. I get up, go in and find his dummy. Back to tv, press play.

Ten minutes later.

“Mummy. Mummy. Mummy. Dummy.”

Whaaaaattt? Again? I hesitate. Should I just let him try to sleep without it?

“Mummmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy. Dummy.”

Alright, alright. Coming. I retrieve his dummy again, lie him down and leave.

Of course it happens again after 15 minutes. By this time I realize that he’s stacking his dummy away on purpose. There is a hole between his crib and the wall and if he puts it in there he won’t be able to reach it by himself. I get angry and tell him to stop doing that or he will sleep without a dummy and I won’t come back in either. Surprisingly, that’s the end of it and I do get to enjoy the film. Awesome film, by the by!

When I go to bed he’s fast asleep. He sleeps in our bedroom; we live in a small apartment, so we have to share, but he has his own bed. I wake up to him calling “mummy” again. I check the clock. 1 am. What the what?

“What is it, kid?”

“Teddy.”

He reaches for  his teddy bear on the nightstand, which is ornamental, because he has a dog to sleep with.

“Teddy.”

“Take it,” I say “then lie down and sleep”.

I roll over and nearly fall asleep again when I hear him again.

“Mummy. Mummy … Mummy?”

I turn around and he’s standing in his crib, holding his teddy towards me and goes “RRRAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR“.

I start laughing and then he starts laughing and we both look like lunatics laughing uncontrollably in the middle of the night. I finally give in and take him out of the crib to my bed. Needless to say, we both sleep like babies till morning even if that’s a very poor comparison, because even babies don’t sleep like babies and I feel like slapping the person who came up with this saying. Harumph.

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